Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) Read online

  The sight of her in such a state of euphoria made Julia laugh. “I take it that baby said ‘milk’ and you had no choice but to oblige.”

  Nodding, Sara tossed the empty carton into the trash and lowered herself onto a kitchen chair. “Whatever you do, don’t tell your brother you saw me drinking out of the carton. He’d be totally grossed out!”

  “Hah. He used to do that all the time, so he can't talk.” Julia surveyed her sister-in-law. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  “Much better. I’m embarrassed about how silly I acted yesterday, but it seems each week I become more anxious about this parenthood thing. It’s nerve-wracking!” Blowing a dark lock of hair from her eyes, Sara continued. “Oh, before I forget, ha ha, Bibliophile’s called again about your book. They have it on hold or something.”

  “That’s right, I haven’t picked that up yet,” Julia said, an idea forming in her mind. “While I’m there I can do some research on my job.”

  “Is that your usual researching attire?” Sara said with a smile. “It’s a darling outfit, but I thought researchers wore long white lab coats over polyester suits.”

  “Not this one. Besides, wearing something different usually helps me feel better, uh, I mean is perfect for gorgeous weather like we’re having today.”

  Sara’s eyes narrowed. “How are you doing, by the way? Yesterday you looked a little peaked.”

  Julia gave her a breezy smile. “I’m not eight and a half months pregnant so I have no excuse not to feel fine.”

  Sara studied her face until she began to squirm under the scrutiny. “The keys to the Mustang are on the counter.”

  “Actually, now that I have this job, I’ll need to get a car of my own. The one I drove in San Diego was a company car. But I appreciate how generous you’ve been with yours.”

  “No problem. But don’t overdo it, physically that is.”

  She gave Sara a light hug. “You, too.”

  ***

  Julia started to relax when she entered Portland. Even her headache seemed to be responding to her breakfast of pain pills. After some confusion and backtracking, she eventually located the bookstore, and parked a few blocks away.

  Inside the store, she took her time exploring the maze of hallways and found some titles appropriate for background research on area colleges. Settling in the coffee room with a skinny latté, she began to read. By the time she finished her coffee, Julia had skimmed through one of the books from cover to cover. She closed her eyes and stretched a little. Looking up at her surroundings, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust from the tiny print to the world around her. Her attention became riveted on a striking figure in the doorway of the coffee room.

  Marc smiled when she recognized him. He wore a pair of black Levi’s and a slate blue shirt, worn open to expose a black T-shirt beneath. Julia took a deep breath and motioned him over.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting,” he said, sliding into the chair opposite her. “I called Sara looking for you and she said you planned on stopping here.”

  “You’re not interrupting. I was just doing a little reading on Northwest Community College.”

  Marc leaned back in his chair, his eyes wide. “Why?”

  “I like to familiarize myself with the history of my clients.”

  “Clients?”

  “Didn’t I mention that I’ve accepted a consulting assignment for the college?”

  He regarded her intently. “No, you didn’t.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I know I’d remember if you told me you’d be working for my employer.”

  Comprehension replaced confusion. “That’s the college where you teach?”

  “Yes.”

  She stared at him, tapping the top of her book with her fingers.

  “Can I ask why they hired you?” Marc said.

  “Actually, I’m representing the San Diego firm where I work. Northwest has had declining enrollment and money troubles for the last five years, and attempts to resolve the problems have failed.”

  “I see.”

  Julia shook her head. “What a coincidence! It was at your book party where I met Spencer Meyers, and he’s the one who told me the school was considering professional consultation.”

  His expression darkened. “I see.”

  “This is all so unbelievable! I mean, won’t it be nice that—” her voice lowered a notch, “we’ll be able to see one another more often?”

  The way Marc’s gaze roamed her face made her feel suddenly warm. “You said you were looking for me?” she said, wishing she knew what he was thinking.

  “I...have the prints from the pictures I took when we were on the Deschutes. I thought you might like to see them.”

  “I would love to! I can finish this later,” she said, stacking the books. “I need to put some of these back and along with the ones I’m buying, I’ll be picking up my copy of Facets, so don’t let me forget to get it autographed by my favorite author.”

  ***

  Marc regretted his impulse to seek Julia out again. After telling himself there was no hope for them, it didn’t take him long to buckle and call the B & B to talk to Julia. When they were apart, he longed for her company. When they were together, he remembered he was only setting himself up for a fall.

  After helping her replace the books, he followed her to the counter where she picked up her copy of his book. Finding her to show his prints now seemed like a dumb idea. What interest would someone like Julia have in what he did?

  She put on her sunglasses as they walked outside together. “Where did you park?”

  Marc offered a reluctant smile to the 1940s movie starlet standing next to him. How he wished... He shook the thought away. “I took the MAX train.”

  “Great, then you can ride with me.”

  He listened to Julia’s chatter while they drove to his building, glad to see she seemed to be up in spirits. Once inside his apartment, she tossed her sweater over the back of the couch, apparently at ease in his home.

  “First, would you please sign my book?” she asked, unsheathing the book from the paper bag and handing it to him.

  Marc sat down on the couch. Placing the book on the steamer trunk, he opened it to the inside cover. Julia sat down next to him. Close enough for him to smell her perfume. He took a deep breath.

  “Is there anything you want me to write besides my name?”

  “Write something profound so I can impress all my friends when I tell them I know a real live author.”

  He grabbed a pen, wondering what to say. He leaned over and scribbled a few words on the page. When done, he closed the book and handed it to her.

  She opened it up, smiling in anticipation. Reading aloud, she said, “To Julia, your friendship shines more brightly than any jewel in this book. Yours, Marc Dorin.”

  Julia kept her eyes lowered for a moment, which proved to be agony.

  Did I go too far? Is she trying not to laugh in my face? “Is that too corny? I’m definitely not of a poetical persuasion—opera notwithstanding.”

  When she finally looked at him, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes shiny. “No female I know would find this corny, Marc. It’s perfectly sweet. Thank you.” She touched his hand. “And I feel the same way.”

  His heart lurched within him. Does she have any idea how much I want to kiss her right now? He jumped up off the couch. “I’ll get the prints.” When he returned, he sat down, making sure ample inches separated them. But as he held up each print for Julia’s inspection, she leaned in closer, eventually ending up in contact with him from shoulder to knee.

  “These are just beautiful. The hint of color you added brings them to life.”

  “Thank you,” he said, unable to tear his attention away from her lips.

  Julia seemed unaware of her effect on him as she leaned back against the cushion. “There’s a wall in my cottage that just begs for that picture of the rainbow over the water. Is it for sale?”

  Marc
shook his head. “Let me have it framed and you can consider it a gift.”

  “Will your lights get turned off if I accept this gift?”

  With a soft laugh, he shook his head. “No, I sent in my article so I’ll get paid for my effort.”

  Julia stood up and took the waterfall print over to the window, looking at it in the light. She turned back to him. “Do you know of any good car dealerships around here?”

  He blinked at the sudden change of subject, then sat forward on the couch cushions. “Sure, I guess so. What kind of car are you interested in?”

  “What would you recommend?”

  He stood and replaced the remaining prints in a folder. “I like my Toyota. What do you drive at home?”

  “An Infiniti,” she said, handing her print back to him.

  Marc added it to the others and concentrated on putting the folder in a leather portfolio.

  “Would you mind coming with me to a lot? I need a car for the next few months since I’ll be commuting from Buell Creek. I want to lease it since I’ll only use it for a while.”

  He pulled his keys out of his pocket and smiled politely, glad for the reminder that her stay was only temporary.

  ***

  Marc sat next to Julia in the office with his arms crossed over his chest, keeping his expression neutral. It took a fair amount of self-control to avoid smirking while she shrewdly negotiated a lease deal for the shiny black Camry she chose. He made a mental note to bring her along the next time he purchased a vehicle.

  “C’mon, lady! I got a family to feed!” the salesman exclaimed after what had obviously been an unexpected ordeal.

  His plea went unheard. Once all the paperwork was finished, Julia offered the man a satisfied smile and shook his hand. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”

  She winked at Marc and dropped the keys into her purse as they made their way out to the Camry. They decided to meet back at his apartment. He eventually lost sight of her as she maneuvered through the traffic.

  When he arrived at his building, he found her leaning casually against the new car. After he parked and joined her, he found her effusive smiles infectious.

  “What a rush,” she said. “Do you think I did okay?”

  “I’d say that’s an understatement,” he said dryly.

  She grinned without shame. “Want to go for a ride?”

  Once they were on the road, Marc directed her to a highway with less traffic and great scenery. Watching her drive, he felt like he was caught up in a whirlwind.

  “Thanks for coming with me to the dealership, Marc. Your support meant a lot to me.”

  “I didn’t say a word.”

  “And I appreciate that. If I had brought Brian along he would’ve commandeered the whole thing.”

  “I thought you did just fine on your own,” he replied with a grin.

  “You must be one of those sensitive modern males.”

  Marc's smile disappeared. “I don’t think so.”

  “No? Does that mean you’re not in touch with your feminine side?”

  “Hardly,” he groused.

  Julia laughed. “So, are you saying you’re a macho, he-man type?”

  “I choose not to use labels.”

  “Then tell me, what values do you hold near and dear?”

  Marc gave her an apprehensive look. “Like what?”

  She flashed him a captivating smile. “You know, about the social differences between men and women.”

  “I don’t think I like where this conversation is going.”

  “Come on. Tell me what you think the roles of the sexes should be.”

  “To love and honor God.”

  “And what else?” Julia gave him a sidelong glance that made him distinctly uncomfortable. Marc knew what she was asking and didn’t know how to answer her without sounding self-righteous. “My views are not exactly politically correct.”

  “Let me guess then. You think men are the protectors and providers and that women are nurturers and caregivers.”

  He felt a twinge of annoyance at how accurately she’d pinned him. Regardless, he wasn’t about to apologize for what he believed. He had the blessing of being raised in a secure, loving environment and only wanted the same for his own children, should he ever have any. “Essentially,” he said, after a moment. “That’s the ideal, especially if children are present. Of course, special circumstances may require different measures.”

  Julia remained quiet for a while, seeming to consider his words. Marc shifted in his seat, wondering how in the world they got on the topic in the first place.

  Suddenly, she pulled off the road and came to a stop. “Ready to turn around?”

  He nodded. “Sure.”

  “Do you want to drive?”

  “Only if you twist my arm.”

  They traded seats, and checking after the traffic, Marc pulled back onto the road in the opposite direction.

  “Home, Jeeves,” Julia said.

  He rolled his eyes. She rested her head against the seat and gave him a sweet smile. The desire to stop the car and drag her into his arms made him wonder if he had more in common with the he-man macho type than he originally thought.

  Chapter Twelve

  Julia fidgeted during the service at Brian and Sara’s church. Thoughts of the upcoming consulting project crowded into her mind. With an ear on the message—something about the unchanging nature of God—she studied the old wooden structure of the building and thought over the aspects of the job.

  Every day brought her closer to finalizing the details of the consulting project, and with it came her hopes of once again finding symmetry in her life. The project at the college would be difficult, but she looked forward to being stretched and challenged. Julia didn’t know how her friendship with Marc would come into play. She couldn’t foresee any conflict of interest. Whatever the findings of the project were, they shouldn’t have anything to do with one photography instructor.

  Her heart was another matter. He hadn’t been to the B & B in almost two weeks and she missed him more than she thought possible. His dark eyes and gentle smile consumed her thoughts—and dreams. But she had no way to see him unless he came to Buell Creek. Pursuing him was out of the question.

  Maybe he had no real interest in her. Maybe she’d imagined the warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. Even if he was interested, it wouldn’t be prudent to open herself up to a relationship. Julia let out a sad little sigh, dismissing the notion that anything real could ever develop between them. She needed to focus on what she excelled at, not on racking up yet another failure.

  What’s he doing right now? Does he ever think about me? Maybe he lost interest because he thinks I’m a cold fish. She bit her lip, hoping he wasn’t like all the rest. Once they got past her appearance, men always lost interest in her. She maintained strict moral standards—something that didn’t precisely set male hearts aflutter. Julia assumed Marc agreed with her in the matter of morals, but maybe she’d gone overboard in her coolness. What does it matter? I’m practically too old for him.

  Despite Sara’s belief otherwise, it mattered—at least in terms of the ability to produce children—an ability that decreased with age. Many of her friends from the firm who’d married in their thirties had gone on to have problems conceiving. Julia doubted she’d be any different. Marc had 'family man' written all over him. What he needed was a young nubile female with fertility galore. Not some aging widow plagued with a myriad of minor health problems. I’m too old. I don't want marriage. I don’t want a relationship without marriage. Marc doesn’t want me anyway. And I’m too old.

  Julia fluttered the pages of her Bible, annoyed by her ambivalence. Singleness is a good thing. It means autonomy, freedom, and potential. So what if she cried during a mushy television commercial or a long stormy night?

  She swallowed back an unexpected thickness in her throat. It was ironic that in an age of feminism, she’d become a career woman by necessity, real
izing her dreams of being a wife and mother grew more hopeless with each passing year. She reminded herself that discontentment equaled believing God didn’t know what was best for her. There were no guarantees that the life of a Christian would be chronic bliss. She strove to focus on making every attempt at living a godly life, meeting her personal goals and expectations. Besides, her work allowed her to enjoy a comfortable standard of living, so she had no room for complaint.

  Julia turned her attention back to the pastor, and was dismayed when she realized he had just dismissed the congregation.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The next morning, Julia came in the back door of the main house, plans swirling in her mind for the day ahead. She found Sara slowly peeling carrots over the sink and staring out the window, her brows furrowed. Julia noticed the kitchen gleamed spotlessly, attesting to the fact the cleaning service Brian hired had already been through the place.

  “Good morning!”

  “Um, hi.”

  Julia wondered at her absent reply. Spying a package of frozen chicken on the counter, she decided to make herself useful. She unwrapped the package and arranged the pieces on a platter to speed the thawing process. After several more minutes of quiet, she looked at sister-in-law, wondering why she wasn’t her usual chatty self.

  “Sara, are you okay?”

  “Uh, probably.”

  “Probably?” Julia now noticed her watching the clock on the wall.

  Sara didn’t appear to hear the question. She continued to peel her carrot in a haphazard manner. After a few moments, her hands hung motionless in mid-air and her breathing altered.

  Setting down the peeler, she turned to Julia with a glazed look in her eyes. “That was a big one.”

  “A big what?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Julia washed her hands and looked up at Sara, who stood a good seven inches taller. “I’m missing something here. What aren’t you sure about?”

  Sara stared at the clock. “I don’t know if these are real contractions or just those Braxton-Hick thingies.”