Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) Page 3

  The moment the words were out, Julia realized she’d just uttered a lie. She’d used the excuse so often it came automatically. I once believed the words. What's changed?

  She thought back to her first marriage. Possibly the biggest failure on record, it had lasted less than thirty-six hours. The pain brought by the dredged-up memories always surprised her in its intensity. With great effort, she dragged her mind back to the present. The day had too much potential to cloud with morose thoughts from the past.

  ***

  Sara had to smile at the way Julia commandeered the shopping expedition once they arrived at the mall. Julia hustled her into a fitting room and told her to stay put. After several minutes, she returned with an array of blouses, casual tops, pants, and dresses.

  Sara obediently tried each item on, surprised to find that she liked most everything Julia brought her. She noted with amusement there wasn’t a big bow or sailor motif in the whole bunch. When she came out of the fitting room wearing a pewter velvet empire-waist dress, she found her sister-in-law and the sales lady with their heads together. They wore sober expressions, as if discussing something important—like world peace. Sara stifled an impulse to laugh out loud.

  Her smile faded a bit when she thought of their non-conversation. Sara only had sketchy details of Julia's past, and obviously her sister-in-law wasn't the confiding type. Still, how could the woman not be bowled over by Marc Dorin? She'd been so sure they'd hit it off. Their temperaments, personality...everything had promised to be such a perfect fit. Sara frowned to herself. Not that she was some expert in matchmaking. Brian had dragged her kicking and screaming into a relationship. Maybe his sister and Marc just needed a little time. Too bad I'm the impatient type.

  Julia looked up and spotted her. “Sara, it’s perfect.” She then shooed her back in the fitting room, close behind with another armload of garments.

  “How is it you pick out such great stuff?”

  “That’s simple,” said Julia. “You’re a winter.”

  Sara blinked. “I’m a wha—?”

  “I’ve also taken into consideration your style, circumstances, ease of wear, you know, that kind of thing.”

  “You lost me on the winter part.”

  “Your season, silly. Now, I saw a blouse that would be perfect for your coloring. I’ll be right back.”

  Sara wasn’t sure she understood, but with a shrug at her reflection, she decided to leave the shopping to the expert.

  ***

  Julia's shoulders sagged. She made a concerted effort to sit up straight. If three hours of shopping had done her in, the drive home threatened to finish her off.

  She was thankful pregnancy slowed Sara down. Julia had been grateful for the relaxed pace of their trip, otherwise she might have not been able to keep up at all.

  Mentally, she felt a nice buzz from their trip. There was nothing like ferreting out quality items for bargain prices. She’d honed her talent in some of the biggest and best clothing stores the West Coast had to offer. Along with a successful shopping binge, she was also aware of how wonderful it felt to have a purpose—even if just a temporary one.

  When she’d come to Oregon to spend a couple of months with her brother and his wife, she’d hoped the time would be a solution to her recent feelings of weariness and dissatisfaction. But so far every day she awoke unsure of what to do with herself while wondering how she could muster the energy to accomplish anything at all. If shopping couldn't cure her, maybe she was without hope. She stifled a deep sigh, knowing Sara would become concerned for her.

  Julia reminded herself to be thankful for the opportunity to spend time with her sister-in-law. How long she stayed after the birth of the baby, she didn’t know yet. Would she feel like a third wheel when baby made three? She’d probably only stay long enough to ensure Sara was rested and recovered from the delivery.

  While Julia drove, she wondered if perhaps part of her problem was that she was at loose ends right now. She didn’t really belong anywhere or with anyone. She knew she could be replaced at her job with the consulting firm in California. Several up and coming employees would love to take her place.

  Here in Buell Creek, her brother and Sara had their own life, and she didn’t want to be underfoot. Her thoughts drifted to Marc Dorin. If she were a different kind of woman, she might encourage a mild flirtation with someone like him, at least to relieve the boredom. But that wasn’t her style.

  Julia had to admit Marc’s runner’s physique and striking eyes were very tempting. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she thought of their unusual introduction with his lipstick-smeared face. In the short time she'd been in his company, she sensed they were of a like mind when it came to the opposite sex—cautious and wary. And with maybe a little extra baggage to boot.

  She pulled into the drive of the B & B, brushing a lock of wind-blown hair from her face. Sara's chatter faded into the background as she fought down a rising feeling of panic. What on earth am I going to do with myself for the next several weeks?

  ***

  Sara snuggled against her husband with her head on his chest. They sat together on the couch in what used to be her bedroom. Now it was in their private quarters, added onto the B & B, and included a master bedroom and bath, a sitting room, and nursery. The extra space afforded them some privacy when they had a house full of guests.

  At first Sara had thought the addition extravagant and unnecessary, but often guests lingered in the living room, making it difficult for her to relax in her own home when she needed a break. With a rueful smile, she decided the room most heavily used—due to bouts of morning sickness and her pea-sized bladder—was the remodeled bathroom.

  Her baby suddenly jabbed her in the ribs. “He’s moving!” Sara put her husband’s hand over her belly until he felt a couple of thumps.

  Brian kissed her. Sara twisted her head away. “Sweetheart, I want to ask you something.”

  He grinned. “Why do I get the feeling my plans for a romantic evening are going up in smoke?”

  Sara tickled him on his ribs. “Talking is romantic.”

  Brian snorted, but when he caught the fulminating expression she sent him, he cleared his throat. “Of course, you’re right dear. Talking is terribly romantic.”

  Sara arched her brow and smiled. “Julia and I went shopping today.”

  Brian gave a dramatic groan.

  “Very funny. Anyway, the subject of Julia’s marriage came up.”

  “And I’ll just bet I know who brought it up.”

  “Hush and listen. Now, you told me she’d been married before and that her husband died, but I’ve noticed you’ve been reticent on the details.”

  Brian rubbed his face and frowned. “Julia doesn’t like me or anyone else talking about it, you know.”

  Sara tapped his chest. “I’m your wife!”

  He sighed. “I have a feeling I better tell you so you don’t try to find out from Julia herself. That wouldn’t go over too well with her.”

  “I’m not trying to pry, but I do want to know so I can help.”

  “Trust me, Julia is probably the last person who needs help.”

  “Brian!”

  “Okay, but this is between you and me, all right?”

  Sara nodded.

  “Well, um, she got married a month after graduating from high school.”

  “Whoa.”

  “Yeah. And she had dreams of a home, bunch of kids, white picket fence, the whole nine yards. Unfortunately, the guy she fell madly in love with had severe problems.”

  “I remember you once said he was a drug addict. What made them decide to get married?”

  “They were both brand new Christians and while his faith was kind of shaky, Julia was sure God and her love for Kevin would be more than enough to solve all their problems. And for a while before the wedding, he really tried to stay clean. But after...” Brian shook his head.

  “What happened?” Sara prompted.

  “Ri
ght after the ceremony, he disappeared. Poor Julia. During the reception, I thought her face would crack from all the smiles she gave to downplay the situation. The next day, she got a call from his parents. He was found dead in his apartment from an overdose.”

  Sara felt the blood drain from her face. “How horrible.”

  “Obviously Julia took it hard. We all did. But what worried me was that she blamed herself for not doing enough, for not loving him enough.”

  Sara couldn’t speak for several minutes. Her heart ached for her sister-in-law. In the short time of her visit, she seemed so poised, so together. Sara couldn’t help but wonder if Julia was an incredibly strong person, or if she had amazing acting abilities. She suspected it was a bit of both. “And there’s never been anyone else?”

  “As far as I know, no.”

  “Do...do you think she’ll ever marry again?”

  Brian shrugged. “I doubt it. She’s married to her career and seems happy enough.”

  Sara refrained from disagreeing with her husband. Men could be oblivious to such things. This new knowledge explained Julia’s earlier reaction when she’d brought up the subject of Marc. It made her feel awful for pushing the issue. Still, with all the fervor of the happily married, she felt certain the right man would be just the thing for her sister-in-law.

  The least she could do was pray.

  Chapter Four

  After making Sara breakfast the following morning, Julia asked her for the directions to Portland. It was the largest city in the state and within reasonable driving distance. She had to get away. There were only so many beds to make, so many dishes to unload from the dishwasher, only so many ways to help Sara with the running of the B & B. Conversely, each task only served to weary her more.

  Her time was usually consumed with her job. Every minute her mind had to concentrate on the task at hand. In the evenings after late hours at work, exhaustion made her fall into bed and not wake up until the next day. That was the way she liked it. It gave her a sense of security and control. Although life in Buell Creek was quiet and restful, Julia craved a change of pace. Preferably a fast one.

  This day is going to be different, do or die.

  Sara handed her the keys. “Be sure to visit Pioneer Courthouse Square. It's a landmark. And if you want coffee, there's a great shop on the west corner you should check out.”

  “Thanks, Sara. Is there anything I can get for you while I'm out?”

  The brunette smiled mysteriously. “No, no. Have fun and just be open to new...experiences.”

  Julia raised a brow at the strange tone. “Um, okaaay. Sure thing.” She sent her a wave as she went out the back door.

  It was a gorgeous summer day and she’d dressed accordingly in a petal pink, sand-washed silk dress. Gravel crunched under her strappy sandals as she walked to the Mustang. Firing up the engine, Julia donned a pair of Fendi sunglasses, careful not to muss her hair which was swept up into a smooth French twist. The breeze tugged at the locks left to dangle about her face.

  Once on the open road, she felt some of the tension leave her body. Having a purpose made her feel almost euphoric. Her plan was to drive to downtown Portland and just explore. Maybe she'd find the cutest little boutique. Maybe she'd find something for the baby. Either way, she had a goal without the pressure, and she planned to enjoy herself.

  Compared to San Diego standards, traffic was ridiculously light on the freeway and the drive passed by in a blur. By following the signs, Julia easily made her way to the city’s downtown area and found a parking garage near Pioneer Courthouse Square. Perfect. After parking, she ventured into the Square, which was filled with people basking in the warm sunshine. Some sat along the steps visiting with each other while others perched near a sculptured waterfall. A live band played cool jazz tunes. Julia lingered long enough to hear several familiar songs.

  She strolled along the brick walkway, smelling the flowers for sale along the perimeter. On all sides, the Square was surrounded by buildings, some old, others more contemporary. Julia stopped in front of a dark bronze statue of a man holding an umbrella and smiled. Sara had warned her to bring along a coat and umbrella, saying Oregon weather could be temperamental. Gazing at the thin blue sky, Julia was glad she wasn't encumbered with accessories so obviously unnecessary. Besides, she needed her hands free to fill with shopping bags.

  Meandering along the sidewalks, Julia stopped to peek in little shops, pausing from time to time to people-watch. She explored the flora of abundant park areas, allowing the vibrant feel of city life to invade her bones and impart some of its energy. After a few hours of sightseeing, Julia felt the need to boost her flagging energy. Spotting java in neon letters near the Square, she made a beeline for the shop.

  Marc stretched and yawned. He rubbed his eyes, which ached after hours of staring into a computer screen. Rolling his head to stretch his neck, he caught a glimpse of blue through the mini-blinds at the windows. Distracted, he got up to peek outside. The startling brightness of the sky made him wince. Marc remembered hearing a forecast for rain. Unable to resist the siren call of unexpected sunshine, he decided to take a much-needed coffee break.

  A few minutes later, he pushed open the door of the coffee shop down the street from his apartment. After ordering his usual Macchiato espresso, he looked along the brick walls at the watercolor paintings by the featured artist of the month. Several months ago, his work had been featured here, and he’d sold many photographic prints as a result.

  When his coffee was ready, he gingerly handled the hot cup and scanned the shop for a vacant table. A woman seated near the window caught his attention. She turned and looked in his direction.

  “Julia!” Her name came out in spite of a half-desire to escape without being seen.

  Julia’s eyes widened when she saw him. She waved him over and invited him to sit at her table. “What a surprise!”

  “I was going to say the same thing,” he said, easing down onto the spindly chair opposite her.

  She gave a gracious smile, her face lit by the diffused sunlight. Marc felt as if a tractor beam had been switched on. He took a sip of his coffee, hoping he hadn’t stared at her too long. “So, what brings you to Portland?”

  Julia gave a soft laugh. “As charming as Buell Creek is, it’s a tad remote. I’ve been missing the frantic pace of my hometown, I guess, and thought maybe a trip to the big city for the day would help me cope.”

  Marc smiled in spite of himself. “And is it working?”

  “It’s a little different from San Diego, but I’m having a nice time.”

  “Where have you been so far?”

  “Mostly just here, downtown.”

  “If you like, I’d be glad to show you around to some of the more interesting places.” Once the words were out, Marc wished he could grab them back. Although he found Julia lovely and intriguing, he also felt sure spending any time in her presence would be unwise.

  She gave him a quizzical look. “Do you come to Portland often?”

  “I live here. My apartment is just a few blocks from Pioneer Courthouse Square.”

  No wonder Sara wanted me to see the place, that stinker. Julia raised her brows a notch. “Are you sure I won’t be keeping you from anything?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing important anyway. I was just doing some research for a class I’ll be teaching in the fall.”

  “On photography?”

  “Yes. I’d prefer to exclusively freelance, but teaching helps pay the bills.”

  “Is the school here in town?”

  “It’s a small community college on the outskirts of the city.”

  Julia took a sip of her coffee. The gold bracelets on her arm tinkled as she set her cup down. “Where to first?”

  ***

  Julia was surprised to find herself excited at the thought of spending time with Marc. After they left the coffee shop, he thought she'd enjoy using the MAX train—the local electric mass transit system—instead of fighting tr
affic. She agreed and after a short walk to the stop, they boarded the train.

  Sharing a seat with him made Julia uncomfortably aware of his attractiveness. When his arm brushed against her own, she experienced a tiny jolt. She ignored it, blaming it on some oddball physiological quirk of nature. Marc pointed out scenes of interest and Julia made an effort to concentrate on what he said, despite her continued reaction to his nearness.

  She was relieved when they finally got off the MAX train. Outside, with several more inches between them, she began to relax. Minutes later they arrived at their destination on the West Side. Marc ushered her into a huge bookstore that was obviously a favorite of his. New and used books were crammed onto mismatched antique bookshelves from floor to ceiling. People from many walks of life milled about reading, searching, conversing in low tones, or just hanging out to be seen. She loved the private coves and coffee room that made it a welcome place to commune with the printed word.

  “Is your book here?” Julia asked.

  “Not yet,” he said, threading her through the crowd. “It was just released and they won’t get their shipment until next week. I had a few advance copies I gave out to friends.”

  A woman, trailed by several children, ran into Julia’s side, which in turn caused her to bump into Marc. At the unexpected contact, she murmured an apology, feeling impatient with herself for the way her pulse skittered in reaction.

  He led her out of the way. “In two weeks the store will be featuring authors from the Northwest who will be here in person to sign books.”

  “You’ll be here then?”

  Marc sent her a lazy grin. “Gotta pay those bills.”

  Julia blinked. In a white linen shirt with a dark, nubby vest and faded blue jeans, he looked unbelievably handsome. She cleared her throat. “Can they reserve copies of your book?”